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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Our Wankers this Week are the Bishops of Bath and Wells, Blackburn, Bristol, Chichester, Derby, Exeter, Gloucester, Guildford, Leicester, Lichfield, London, Manchester, Norwich, Oxford, Ripon and Leeds, St Edmundsbury and Ipswich, the Archbishop of York, and Catweazle.
 
These reverend gentlemen are attempting to use their positions within a non-elected, unrepresentative minority faith organisation to interfere with the decisions of our elected government and counter the lawful wishes of the majority of working people in this country.
 
They have condemned the coalition government's welfare reforms by making the outlandish claim that thousands of children could be pushed into poverty and even made homeless. They carefully do not explain just what they mean by “poverty”; we imagine it might mean only having one Playstation between two, or even not having a television in their bedroom at all, which would of course be very serious.
 
The government spends £192bn a year on welfare and wants to get adults back into work by limiting benefits for out-of-work households to £500 per week for couples and families with children. However in an open letter to The Observer the bishops warn that the proposals could have a ‘profoundly unjust’ impact on society’s poorest children.
 
They said: ‘While 70,000 adults are likely to be affected by the cap, the Children's Society has found that it is going to cut support for an estimated 210,000 children, leaving as many as 80,000 homeless. Catweazle is President of the Children's Society. This does not suggest that he made these figures up himself; perish the thought. And if the idea seems extraordinary, that the streets of our major cities may soon be flooded by 80,000 homeless children, we can no doubt console ourselves with the thought that the Children's Society must know best because that's their job.
 
Some newspapers pointed out that the bishops' criticism comes immediately after a humiliating internal row within the church about its stance on the St Paul’s Cathedral anti-capitalist protests, which led to two high profile resignations, so the open letter may be seen as an attempt by the church hierarchy to grab back the moral high ground.
 
£500 a week, the level at which the government proposes to cap the benefits a family may receive, equates to £26,000. The national average wage in this country is £27,000. A father working full-time would need a salary in excess of £33,000 in order to take home the same amount of money that a benefit claimant can receive for sitting on his, if you'll excuse the expression, arse. It's very doubtful if most employers would give that father a little pay rise each time he has another baby, but that's just what the benefits system does at present.
 
We have a practical suggestion for anyone who feels that he and his family will suffer because of the government's reform to their benefits: just pop along to the nearest bishop and ask him to make up the shortfall. The Church of England is one of this country's largest landowners, thinks nothing of screwing hundreds of thousands of pounds out of householders who have the misfortune to own a house that belonged to the vicar at some time in the remote past (see here), and every church congregation, however small, is required to donate or collect hundreds of pounds each year to support the bishop in his palace and his cathedral in its pomp.
 
So let's see these useless Wankers putting some of their money where their mouths are.
 
Oh, and while we're moaning about money, can we spare a thought for those teachers (a minority, we're pretty sure) who are so determined to strike next week in defence of their pensions? A teacher retiring on £37,000 a year can currently expect a pension of about £25,000. PLUS the state pension, of course. In other words, they're striking to defend their right to get well over the national average wage for the rest of their lives, for doing nothing.
 
Nice work if you can get it.
 
Lucky bastards.
 

 
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